Thank all of you for your comments. I'm sorry that all of you had to go through all of this abuse my heart goes out to each of you. Huge Hugs!! God bless all of you. Validation helps us cope with this kind of abuse. Some of the abuse is physical and that's horrific and don't let anyone tell you any different. Fortunately those wounds eventually heal but some scars stay with us possibly all our lives. I'm talking about the emotional scars and what it does to our perspective. The perspective of our own lives how it makes us devalue ourselves because they have devalued us. They made us feel like yesterday's garbage. We were taught that our feelings, our needs and essentially WE don't matter. Any thing we do out of our own kindness to them is spewed back in our faces. I remember an instance as a child I was always trying to get acceptance from my dad. I idolized him, yes I know that was sick but I was gaslit into thinking that the beatings I got were all justified and that I deserved them. Not to mention that he was a pastor so I looked at him as a "man of God". Everything he said was gospel to me. I know stockholm big time!! Here's an example of our kindness being thrown in our faces, literally. I was approximately 10 years old at this time, my dad was mowing the yard. He looked hot I went in and made some ice tea for him and brought it out to him in a tall glass. He shut off the mower, he started to take a drink and then paused and asked if I had washed my hands before making it because I had been playing with our cats. I said no. He poured the entire glass of ice tea down the front of me and then ordered me to go back in and make him a new glass but this time WASH YOUR HANDS!!! What started out to be something nice turned out to be something totally different. He couldn't have asked nicely or just told me in a calm voice no he had to pour it on me and then yell at me. Great man of God!!! You find yourself thinking I can't do anything right, I'm just a failure. No wonder we have self esteem issues after they get through with us then our minds now warped beat ourselves up as a result of all the mean things they've said play over and over in our heads.
They lay most of their groundwork while we are children. It's easy to bully children especially if they are your own. There's no one that we can go to for help, who's going to believe a child? The risk you take of telling anyone what if they tell your abuser what you said? It's much easier to remain silent they hell you'd deal with if you told anyone. I would have never considered it anyway because I thought it was justified, I thought I was a terrible person. I believed I deserved it. This is life living with a covert narcissist. On the outside everyone thought he was the salt of the earth type guy. Everyone loved my dad, few loved my mom but mostly it was dad that they mentioned. They hide behind religion and appear so "godly" on the outside. I spent years believing the lie. I'm so thankful for God and my husband who helped me see through the facade, it was all a sham.
hawk
Monday, October 19, 2015
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Why do you HATE me!!!
Why do you HATE me!!!
How many times have you heard that from your narcissist abuser? I’ve heard it plenty of times. They poke you, prod you, lie to you and about you, slander you to everyone they know. They are spewing out venom about you constantly then they come to you and exclaim why do you HATE me?
What I’d love to say is first of all, I’ve never said that I hate you but I think you’ve sure given me enough reason to. Then more to the point of why do YOU hate ME? The expression “poke the bear” comes to mind. They poke you prod you hoping for a response. They want to make you go off on them. It’s supply to them. They love doing this in public, at events wherever they have an audience. While the other abuse they’ve done to you was in private. It’s like in grade school the girl that whispers about you to others then smiles at you and expects you to be nice to her and will make a scene and turn it around to make you look like the jerk. It’s exactly like that.
Not all narcissist physically abuse you. They love to play head games alienate you from everyone you know so you can be their personal play thing. They will literally turn your friends and family against you. Even though the so called friend knew you longer the narcissist has a way of persuading them otherwise. They want you to feel alone, you will either go back to them to become abused or destroy yourself out of loneliness and despair. There is a third choice they don’t want you to know about. While you are in the loneliness stage, get to know who you are. Be comfortable in who you are where you don’t need others around to entertain or keep you company. Be comfortable in the truth that they are harmful to you and if that means you never have friends again so be it. You can survive without friends or companions. What do you do that makes you special to God? Do you sing, do you play an instrument, draw, paint, write, create in some way, possibly caring for animals in some capacity? Spend time doing that thing that makes you different from other people. Maybe compassion is your specialty do something with that let your heart lead you. Never let others lead you, be independent and strong. Your inner strength will serve you well. It will help you get through the tough times. Look at yourself now yes you’ve been beat down abused, slandered and almost destroyed. Almost is the key here, they did not get the job done. Stand up and build your strength. Think of it as being beat up at recess by a bully. Yes you may LOOK like you’ve lost, a laughing stalk weak but remember they didn’t defeat you. What does the little boy or girl do when he is beaten up and the wounds heal? He starts learning how to fight and stays away at all costs from this bully. That’s all these narcissist are anyway is bullies they want control over you. You learn to protect yourself. Now I’m not talking about the little boy or girl that goes home and comes back to school with a gun and shoots everyone they see because they were hurt. This is what the narcissist wants you to do, they want to make you lose it. They want to push you into that dark place where you want to kill others and yourself. They want you to “see red”. You are letting them control you and by doing this you have now lost to the narcissist.
You have just handed control of your life to the narcissist. In the end YOU are going to be accountable for what you do in your life. Let’s just speak as the law goes. You commit a crime the narcissist emotionally drives you to do it, but YOU are the one committing the crime so You will be the one who gets punished for it. Maybe if you’re lucky they will punish the one who pushed you to do the crime but their sentence will be light, you are the one who actually did it. Everyone is responsible for their own well being as adults. It’s time to take charge of your lives brush yourself off stand up, YOU matter!! I’ll say it again YOU MATTER, your life matters. It matters to God and it should matter to you. Learn to love yourself or at least look at yourself in the mirror and be able to live with the person on the inside. Really the inside is the most important part of you. All of us look at the appearance that’s all superficial. God sees what’s inside and a true friend will see the inside. The thing is we have abused the word “friend” and “love”. We have confused acquaintances and co-workers for friends. And something you really like as love. Narcissists use the word friend and love too. These words are tools to the narcissist. They are handcuffs, ropes or chains. They use your affection to their benefit. They will abuse you verbally, emotionally, physically and spiritually and then tell you they “LOVE” you. It’s because I LOVE YOU. They may use the phrase “if you love me, you’ll… “ Love and friend have become words of manipulation. Beware of those using those words, beware of those wanting to get too close to you too fast. Narcissists aren’t really human in the normal sense, normal things like affection and friendship aren’t things that flow naturally they are only manipulation tools and they may want to escalate a friendship or romance to “cut to the chase”.
In closing stay strong in who you are, Love yourself as a child of God see yourself as He sees you and not how the narcissist sees you. You really do matter you’re really not just an object to entertain the narcissists of this world. Beware there are many narcissist and they spot you before you can spot them at least the more dangerous ones do. Guard your heart don’t jump into friendships and relationships too fast. If they are worthy of your affection they will be patient with you. God Bless all of you!
How many times have you heard that from your narcissist abuser? I’ve heard it plenty of times. They poke you, prod you, lie to you and about you, slander you to everyone they know. They are spewing out venom about you constantly then they come to you and exclaim why do you HATE me?
What I’d love to say is first of all, I’ve never said that I hate you but I think you’ve sure given me enough reason to. Then more to the point of why do YOU hate ME? The expression “poke the bear” comes to mind. They poke you prod you hoping for a response. They want to make you go off on them. It’s supply to them. They love doing this in public, at events wherever they have an audience. While the other abuse they’ve done to you was in private. It’s like in grade school the girl that whispers about you to others then smiles at you and expects you to be nice to her and will make a scene and turn it around to make you look like the jerk. It’s exactly like that.
Not all narcissist physically abuse you. They love to play head games alienate you from everyone you know so you can be their personal play thing. They will literally turn your friends and family against you. Even though the so called friend knew you longer the narcissist has a way of persuading them otherwise. They want you to feel alone, you will either go back to them to become abused or destroy yourself out of loneliness and despair. There is a third choice they don’t want you to know about. While you are in the loneliness stage, get to know who you are. Be comfortable in who you are where you don’t need others around to entertain or keep you company. Be comfortable in the truth that they are harmful to you and if that means you never have friends again so be it. You can survive without friends or companions. What do you do that makes you special to God? Do you sing, do you play an instrument, draw, paint, write, create in some way, possibly caring for animals in some capacity? Spend time doing that thing that makes you different from other people. Maybe compassion is your specialty do something with that let your heart lead you. Never let others lead you, be independent and strong. Your inner strength will serve you well. It will help you get through the tough times. Look at yourself now yes you’ve been beat down abused, slandered and almost destroyed. Almost is the key here, they did not get the job done. Stand up and build your strength. Think of it as being beat up at recess by a bully. Yes you may LOOK like you’ve lost, a laughing stalk weak but remember they didn’t defeat you. What does the little boy or girl do when he is beaten up and the wounds heal? He starts learning how to fight and stays away at all costs from this bully. That’s all these narcissist are anyway is bullies they want control over you. You learn to protect yourself. Now I’m not talking about the little boy or girl that goes home and comes back to school with a gun and shoots everyone they see because they were hurt. This is what the narcissist wants you to do, they want to make you lose it. They want to push you into that dark place where you want to kill others and yourself. They want you to “see red”. You are letting them control you and by doing this you have now lost to the narcissist.
You have just handed control of your life to the narcissist. In the end YOU are going to be accountable for what you do in your life. Let’s just speak as the law goes. You commit a crime the narcissist emotionally drives you to do it, but YOU are the one committing the crime so You will be the one who gets punished for it. Maybe if you’re lucky they will punish the one who pushed you to do the crime but their sentence will be light, you are the one who actually did it. Everyone is responsible for their own well being as adults. It’s time to take charge of your lives brush yourself off stand up, YOU matter!! I’ll say it again YOU MATTER, your life matters. It matters to God and it should matter to you. Learn to love yourself or at least look at yourself in the mirror and be able to live with the person on the inside. Really the inside is the most important part of you. All of us look at the appearance that’s all superficial. God sees what’s inside and a true friend will see the inside. The thing is we have abused the word “friend” and “love”. We have confused acquaintances and co-workers for friends. And something you really like as love. Narcissists use the word friend and love too. These words are tools to the narcissist. They are handcuffs, ropes or chains. They use your affection to their benefit. They will abuse you verbally, emotionally, physically and spiritually and then tell you they “LOVE” you. It’s because I LOVE YOU. They may use the phrase “if you love me, you’ll… “ Love and friend have become words of manipulation. Beware of those using those words, beware of those wanting to get too close to you too fast. Narcissists aren’t really human in the normal sense, normal things like affection and friendship aren’t things that flow naturally they are only manipulation tools and they may want to escalate a friendship or romance to “cut to the chase”.
In closing stay strong in who you are, Love yourself as a child of God see yourself as He sees you and not how the narcissist sees you. You really do matter you’re really not just an object to entertain the narcissists of this world. Beware there are many narcissist and they spot you before you can spot them at least the more dangerous ones do. Guard your heart don’t jump into friendships and relationships too fast. If they are worthy of your affection they will be patient with you. God Bless all of you!
Monday, September 7, 2015
Pastor Speaks about Not Judging a Pedophile
We live in interesting times my friends. Please study and pray for yourselves. Wipe the dust off and crack open those bibles you may have laying around.
Three excellent online resources are the Bible Hub, Bible Gateway and the Blue Letter Bible. Google is an excellent search tool if you cant remember a verse but you know what its about. The main thing is to study for yourselves this is the only way you will get the truth. So many pastors are leading their congregations astray. The seem to be using cult tactics to gain control extort money from them while they live the high life their congregation like zombies keep bringing in the money.
This message isn't about money this time though it's much more disturbing to me and those of us who have been abused at the hands of a narcissist. My husband and I were watching a pastor who also has a live stream and records his messages online and hangs with the big TV prosperity gang. This pastor used to have great messages now they're flat and sound like he's speaking to a children's Sunday school class. The problem is if he were speaking to children I hope he would find himself behind bars.
The pastor began his message about judging and within the first few minutes of the sermon he said "some of you would be surprised to find that you may live next door to a Pedophile in heaven. Yes that's right, this is what he said. He then went on leveling and comparing Pedophilia to any other sexual sin like infidelity or just sleeping around. Obviously I feel both infidelity and sleeping around is wrong but it's not the same as pedophilia. Pedophilia is a horrible thing it inflicts such pain upon children, not only the physical but the emotional scars and spiritual. A pedophile has the intent to injure a child when he rapes the child this is not the same as in two adults having consensual sex. Pedophilia is an individual who loves lording their control over an innocent victim and forcing themselves upon a child who isn't physically or emotionally capable of dealing with this or even fighting back.
No mr pastor I have NEVER found it in the word of God that it's ok to abuse or rape children or that it is no worse than other sins. Where did this kind of thinking come from?
Seeking Justice
The pastor used this verse
Romans 13:10 (NIV)
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
He took the whole verse out of context back up one verse and you see what the Apostle Paul is trying to say.
Romans 13:9-10
9For this, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, YOU SHALL NOT MURDER, YOU SHALL NOT STEAL, YOU SHALL NOT COVET," and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." 10Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
This verse was taken out of context this verse is not telling you how to react to those who have hurt or wronged us, the verse is telling us how to treat others.
He said and I quote: "If you want someone to pay for what they did (to you), You are judging and not forgiving, showing no mercy. you want ill and harm to come to them." So he's saying you are wrong for wanting justice or seeking justice for the abuse someone has caused. Do you see the sick dynamic here? It just makes me want to throw up or toss furniture.
Acceptance of Sin
He went on to talk about there is no category for sin. One sin is no greater than the other in the eyes of God. If they repent... he reminded them we are ALL sinners... So I took this to mean we are supposed to accept sin you see, hear, or know about, you are to turn a blind eye to it because after all we are all sinners.
He mentioned you've got to "acknowledge the nature of flesh". Pastor compared phedophilia to any sexual sin as no difference between the two. It's one thing to commit an act of sin in error of judgment a moment of lust, then to purposefully select a child rape the child for their own sick pleasures and inflict pain physically, emotionally and spiritually. Intent has a lot to do with sin. I mean no disrespect for this next comment, but even an atheist knows it's wrong to rape a child. It's not a religious issue it's a moral issue. I'm not going to add categories to it, any sex with a child is rape in my eyes and in the eyes of God.
Pastor what about Matthew 18:6? This isn't an encoded message it's pretty clear. Jesus didn't make up excuses for these reptiles who prey upon children, no he said it would be better if they were dead.
Matthew 18:6
"If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
I'm sorry pastor do you know more than Jesus? Where did you find this type of thinking? It's not in the bible I can guarantee it.
More Leveling
The pastor went on to say, speaking of phedophiles; "you might say, I would never... Everyone is capable, this just didn't happen to you". I'm sorry again pastor but MOST of us WOULD NEVER! And "just didn't happen to you"... "happen"? You don't just happen to rape anyone but ESPECIALLY not a CHILD! So the pedophile one day is walking along and accidentally rapes a child? OOPS I raped a kid oh well..? No it's sick perversion God is sickened by perversion! Lastly the pastor said that murders, rapists and pedophiles will be in heaven, then he added if they repent... Have you ever heard of a rapist or especially a pedophile repent because I have not.
Evidently the pastor never read this verse:
Isaiah 5:20
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
what about:
Proverbs 17:15
Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent-- the LORD detests them both.
Habakkuk 1:4
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails. The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted.
Malachi 2:17
You have wearied the LORD with your words. "How have we wearied him?" you ask. By saying, "All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them" or "Where is the God of justice?"
1 Timothy 4:1
The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.
2 Timothy 4:3
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
2 Peter 2:1
But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them--bringing swift destruction on themselves.
I believe that God's word speaks for itself.
Three excellent online resources are the Bible Hub, Bible Gateway and the Blue Letter Bible. Google is an excellent search tool if you cant remember a verse but you know what its about. The main thing is to study for yourselves this is the only way you will get the truth. So many pastors are leading their congregations astray. The seem to be using cult tactics to gain control extort money from them while they live the high life their congregation like zombies keep bringing in the money.
This message isn't about money this time though it's much more disturbing to me and those of us who have been abused at the hands of a narcissist. My husband and I were watching a pastor who also has a live stream and records his messages online and hangs with the big TV prosperity gang. This pastor used to have great messages now they're flat and sound like he's speaking to a children's Sunday school class. The problem is if he were speaking to children I hope he would find himself behind bars.
The pastor began his message about judging and within the first few minutes of the sermon he said "some of you would be surprised to find that you may live next door to a Pedophile in heaven. Yes that's right, this is what he said. He then went on leveling and comparing Pedophilia to any other sexual sin like infidelity or just sleeping around. Obviously I feel both infidelity and sleeping around is wrong but it's not the same as pedophilia. Pedophilia is a horrible thing it inflicts such pain upon children, not only the physical but the emotional scars and spiritual. A pedophile has the intent to injure a child when he rapes the child this is not the same as in two adults having consensual sex. Pedophilia is an individual who loves lording their control over an innocent victim and forcing themselves upon a child who isn't physically or emotionally capable of dealing with this or even fighting back.
No mr pastor I have NEVER found it in the word of God that it's ok to abuse or rape children or that it is no worse than other sins. Where did this kind of thinking come from?
Seeking Justice
The pastor used this verse
Romans 13:10 (NIV)
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
He took the whole verse out of context back up one verse and you see what the Apostle Paul is trying to say.
Romans 13:9-10
9For this, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, YOU SHALL NOT MURDER, YOU SHALL NOT STEAL, YOU SHALL NOT COVET," and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." 10Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
This verse was taken out of context this verse is not telling you how to react to those who have hurt or wronged us, the verse is telling us how to treat others.
He said and I quote: "If you want someone to pay for what they did (to you), You are judging and not forgiving, showing no mercy. you want ill and harm to come to them." So he's saying you are wrong for wanting justice or seeking justice for the abuse someone has caused. Do you see the sick dynamic here? It just makes me want to throw up or toss furniture.
Acceptance of Sin
He went on to talk about there is no category for sin. One sin is no greater than the other in the eyes of God. If they repent... he reminded them we are ALL sinners... So I took this to mean we are supposed to accept sin you see, hear, or know about, you are to turn a blind eye to it because after all we are all sinners.
He mentioned you've got to "acknowledge the nature of flesh". Pastor compared phedophilia to any sexual sin as no difference between the two. It's one thing to commit an act of sin in error of judgment a moment of lust, then to purposefully select a child rape the child for their own sick pleasures and inflict pain physically, emotionally and spiritually. Intent has a lot to do with sin. I mean no disrespect for this next comment, but even an atheist knows it's wrong to rape a child. It's not a religious issue it's a moral issue. I'm not going to add categories to it, any sex with a child is rape in my eyes and in the eyes of God.
Pastor what about Matthew 18:6? This isn't an encoded message it's pretty clear. Jesus didn't make up excuses for these reptiles who prey upon children, no he said it would be better if they were dead.
Matthew 18:6
"If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
I'm sorry pastor do you know more than Jesus? Where did you find this type of thinking? It's not in the bible I can guarantee it.
More Leveling
The pastor went on to say, speaking of phedophiles; "you might say, I would never... Everyone is capable, this just didn't happen to you". I'm sorry again pastor but MOST of us WOULD NEVER! And "just didn't happen to you"... "happen"? You don't just happen to rape anyone but ESPECIALLY not a CHILD! So the pedophile one day is walking along and accidentally rapes a child? OOPS I raped a kid oh well..? No it's sick perversion God is sickened by perversion! Lastly the pastor said that murders, rapists and pedophiles will be in heaven, then he added if they repent... Have you ever heard of a rapist or especially a pedophile repent because I have not.
Evidently the pastor never read this verse:
Isaiah 5:20
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
what about:
Proverbs 17:15
Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent-- the LORD detests them both.
Habakkuk 1:4
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails. The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted.
Malachi 2:17
You have wearied the LORD with your words. "How have we wearied him?" you ask. By saying, "All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them" or "Where is the God of justice?"
1 Timothy 4:1
The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.
2 Timothy 4:3
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
2 Peter 2:1
But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them--bringing swift destruction on themselves.
I believe that God's word speaks for itself.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Pastors are they Shepherds or Wolves Disguised as Shepherds?
Pastors immobilizing their people by teaching them dependence, learned helplessness, they say things that sounds right to the ear but wrong to your conscience.
beware of false teachers
1 Timothy 4:1-2
4 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; 2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
but please read the entire chapter
Matthew 7:15-16
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16"You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?…
Jeremiah 23:16
This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD.
Here's a link to more verses if you are interested.
http://biblehub.com/matthew/7-15.htm
they use phrases like “God is in control”, “don’t judge”, “you must forgive” They have become the thought police even guilting you for having thoughts of avoiding a person who you sense may inflict harm or put you in danger. Discerning is not judging. That discerning of danger is your inner man telling you to get the hell away from that person.
“God is in control”God is only in control if you allow him to be. God is not a dictator and everyone has a free will to do right or wrong.
Two examples Adam and Eve they chose to disobey God they knew the consequences of their actions if they disobeyed. If God controlled everything he would have stopped them or even removed temptation all together the serpent and the tree. Adam and Eve were adults not babies. As parents of babies we remove all obstacles to protect them. But Adam and Eve were adults God treated them as such and expected them to act accordingly. Basically.. they had a choice.
Why would preachers teach us that we have no power over our own lives? I suppose to make us easier to control?
A preacher that teaches this doctrine has another agenda in mind and not the heart of God. How does this apply to narcissism? You have many choices. You have choices to do good in this world according to your conscience or bad. You can choose to stay with your narcissistic abuser and live with it or you can leave, go no contact and heal. You don't have to take its and you don't deserve it. It's not in God's great scheme of things for you to be abused, beaten, manipulated, tortured, yelled at. There is no reward in the great beyond for putting up with this abuse. It’s not your lot in life be abused and you should just get over it that’s how it is, forgive them besides you are a sinner too. NO that’s a lie they want you to believe. Intentionally inflicting pain no matter what kind of pain upon another person is wrong and a sin. Did God plan for Cain to murder Abel? No God warned Cain he was starting in the wrong direction tried to turn him around. I’m not going to read it to you but you can find it in Genesis 4.
Another thing preachers say to control us is "don't judge." Mr Smakintosh did a video on this. Preachers tell you don't judge others but most of all don't judge them. What they are saying is close your eyes to my faults I know what's best for you. Don’t try to discern if I am sinning. This us gaslighting. Never mind what I do, you need to do what I tell you. I was told as a child “do as I say not as I do”… That’s also hypocrisy!! The rules are for you not me.
The next thing is they have their fingers in your pocket or wallet. They need things... Nice things… So they guilt you into tithing or donating your money and time to their projects, they have so many projects.
They can't drive around in a shabby car Mrs pastor needs a brand new Mercedes. They can't take public transportation going out of town, like you do, they need a jet and a big one. They can't stay in an apparent or modest home it needs to be a mansion or horse ranch maybe both. What you give is never enough. That Mercedes needs gas the jet needs fuel that mansion needs landscaping. You can't have your preacher mowing his own estate that you helped pay for.
But YOU don't judge ME.
You are condemned for individual thinking. Isn't that like abuse from your narcissist? The abuser will attack you if you question any of their actions. Entitlement.... Another trait of narcissism. they feel entitled to abuse and lord themselves over you demanding money and things.
The apostle Paul made tents in with the community. found in Acts 18:1-3
What about visiting the sick and those in the hospital. No they don't have time for that. Remember the time when pastors actually did that? About a week ago I heard a pastor tell his congregation that THEY would be doing the visitations. WHAT???
Do they care about the community? When the community loses one of their own children because some sicko murdered a child in a motel across the street from the church does the pastor take up an offering for her family or in the least even offer up prayers to God to comfort the parents and family of the child? I think you know the answer. There’s fundraising to do!! I think he was even out of town at the time at another church. How convenient. So while the community that pays for his many trappings he can’t even console the parents who lost their little girl in a horrific and tragic method.
No but the pastor will give thousands into another pastors ministry. One who is well off already. No just like the narcissist they only do things for appearances only. They don't help the poor, they help the rich just like the regular narcissist do. They will give thousands maybe millions to fundraisers to get their accolades among their peers but not a dime to someone who really needs it.
These preachers are no better than lying politicians. Actually they are worse because they do it all in the name of God. Pastors at least most there may be a few that are really doing ‘’God’s work” but not many. In fact a lot of them are tangled up into the one world religion. That’s all I will say about that. You can look it up.
Another controlling phrase preachers use is "You need to forgive... " this phrase puts all the blame on you. No matter what they did " you need to forgive". A man beats his wife and children but she is the one who needs to forgive. This ends up scapegoating you putting the blame on YOU because YOU won’t forgive. My family of narcs do that. I’ve been told that I need to “soften my heart”….
My friends churches like this are the perfect breeding ground for narcissistic abuse. If your church is guilting you into anything run, run fast and run far... The pastors of these churches will work to keep you and your abusers together. They will offer counseling to you both but YOU will be the one who needs to change and conform not your abuser.
If this is your church, stop going!! I’m not telling you to turn your back on God. Church isn’t the only place to worship God. Open your own bible, read the word for yourself. God can teach you deeper messages that what you get from the pulpit. If this is not your church consider yourself fortunate but keep an open eye on the church and your pastor. You might be led down the wrong path and in the end You are responsible for your own life. Be careful on who you choose to follow and where they are leading. *
beware of false teachers
1 Timothy 4:1-2
4 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; 2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
but please read the entire chapter
Matthew 7:15-16
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16"You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?…
Jeremiah 23:16
This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD.
Here's a link to more verses if you are interested.
http://biblehub.com/matthew/7-15.htm
they use phrases like “God is in control”, “don’t judge”, “you must forgive” They have become the thought police even guilting you for having thoughts of avoiding a person who you sense may inflict harm or put you in danger. Discerning is not judging. That discerning of danger is your inner man telling you to get the hell away from that person.
“God is in control”God is only in control if you allow him to be. God is not a dictator and everyone has a free will to do right or wrong.
Two examples Adam and Eve they chose to disobey God they knew the consequences of their actions if they disobeyed. If God controlled everything he would have stopped them or even removed temptation all together the serpent and the tree. Adam and Eve were adults not babies. As parents of babies we remove all obstacles to protect them. But Adam and Eve were adults God treated them as such and expected them to act accordingly. Basically.. they had a choice.
Why would preachers teach us that we have no power over our own lives? I suppose to make us easier to control?
A preacher that teaches this doctrine has another agenda in mind and not the heart of God. How does this apply to narcissism? You have many choices. You have choices to do good in this world according to your conscience or bad. You can choose to stay with your narcissistic abuser and live with it or you can leave, go no contact and heal. You don't have to take its and you don't deserve it. It's not in God's great scheme of things for you to be abused, beaten, manipulated, tortured, yelled at. There is no reward in the great beyond for putting up with this abuse. It’s not your lot in life be abused and you should just get over it that’s how it is, forgive them besides you are a sinner too. NO that’s a lie they want you to believe. Intentionally inflicting pain no matter what kind of pain upon another person is wrong and a sin. Did God plan for Cain to murder Abel? No God warned Cain he was starting in the wrong direction tried to turn him around. I’m not going to read it to you but you can find it in Genesis 4.
Another thing preachers say to control us is "don't judge." Mr Smakintosh did a video on this. Preachers tell you don't judge others but most of all don't judge them. What they are saying is close your eyes to my faults I know what's best for you. Don’t try to discern if I am sinning. This us gaslighting. Never mind what I do, you need to do what I tell you. I was told as a child “do as I say not as I do”… That’s also hypocrisy!! The rules are for you not me.
The next thing is they have their fingers in your pocket or wallet. They need things... Nice things… So they guilt you into tithing or donating your money and time to their projects, they have so many projects.
They can't drive around in a shabby car Mrs pastor needs a brand new Mercedes. They can't take public transportation going out of town, like you do, they need a jet and a big one. They can't stay in an apparent or modest home it needs to be a mansion or horse ranch maybe both. What you give is never enough. That Mercedes needs gas the jet needs fuel that mansion needs landscaping. You can't have your preacher mowing his own estate that you helped pay for.
But YOU don't judge ME.
You are condemned for individual thinking. Isn't that like abuse from your narcissist? The abuser will attack you if you question any of their actions. Entitlement.... Another trait of narcissism. they feel entitled to abuse and lord themselves over you demanding money and things.
The apostle Paul made tents in with the community. found in Acts 18:1-3
What about visiting the sick and those in the hospital. No they don't have time for that. Remember the time when pastors actually did that? About a week ago I heard a pastor tell his congregation that THEY would be doing the visitations. WHAT???
Do they care about the community? When the community loses one of their own children because some sicko murdered a child in a motel across the street from the church does the pastor take up an offering for her family or in the least even offer up prayers to God to comfort the parents and family of the child? I think you know the answer. There’s fundraising to do!! I think he was even out of town at the time at another church. How convenient. So while the community that pays for his many trappings he can’t even console the parents who lost their little girl in a horrific and tragic method.
No but the pastor will give thousands into another pastors ministry. One who is well off already. No just like the narcissist they only do things for appearances only. They don't help the poor, they help the rich just like the regular narcissist do. They will give thousands maybe millions to fundraisers to get their accolades among their peers but not a dime to someone who really needs it.
These preachers are no better than lying politicians. Actually they are worse because they do it all in the name of God. Pastors at least most there may be a few that are really doing ‘’God’s work” but not many. In fact a lot of them are tangled up into the one world religion. That’s all I will say about that. You can look it up.
Another controlling phrase preachers use is "You need to forgive... " this phrase puts all the blame on you. No matter what they did " you need to forgive". A man beats his wife and children but she is the one who needs to forgive. This ends up scapegoating you putting the blame on YOU because YOU won’t forgive. My family of narcs do that. I’ve been told that I need to “soften my heart”….
My friends churches like this are the perfect breeding ground for narcissistic abuse. If your church is guilting you into anything run, run fast and run far... The pastors of these churches will work to keep you and your abusers together. They will offer counseling to you both but YOU will be the one who needs to change and conform not your abuser.
If this is your church, stop going!! I’m not telling you to turn your back on God. Church isn’t the only place to worship God. Open your own bible, read the word for yourself. God can teach you deeper messages that what you get from the pulpit. If this is not your church consider yourself fortunate but keep an open eye on the church and your pastor. You might be led down the wrong path and in the end You are responsible for your own life. Be careful on who you choose to follow and where they are leading. *
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Don't call me "Sweetie"!!!
You know it only takes a simple text from my Narcissist Father to make me upset. It would make my stomach churn, cramp and upset to the point of diarrhea, it only takes a couple of hours after the text. I’m 50 now but my Narc dad can still do a number on my emotions. It’s like when someone has been terrorized by someone and they leave messages on their phone nothing threatening just a message that you can’t put your finger on plausible deniability. After they contact you, you feel violated somehow and agitated, tense, uneasy jumpy drained of energy and emotion. This happened to me today and every time my narc dad would text me. Today it was “Good Morning my sweet daughter I love you.” Oh sure, I know it sounds nice what’s wrong with that. Well for one thing my father has never called me sweetie or sweet daughter as a child NEVER!! It’s right down creepy!!! This guy was “Indiana Jones”, the guy who beat me with a whip and a belt when he determined I’ve done something so horrible to warrant such a punishment. This is the man when at the dinner table demanding answers; slapped his hand so hard on the table making the table shake, the dishes and silverware rattle. Then he would point his finger at me or jab it into my chest to the point it felt like it was bruising while acting as if he was holding back so much rage and if he didn’t have self control he’d beat the hell out of me. This is the guy who’s texting me “sweetie”… Now I know a lot of you out there have sustained a great deal more abuse than I and this would be child’s play compared to how you were treated. He didn’t use his fist or put cigarettes out on my skin, or rape me, like a lot of you have. He always had a “reason” for my beatings, in fact because of that I always thought I deserved the beatings and didn’t realize it was abuse and stepped into a curtain of fog that he and my narc mom created. This isn’t how I raised my kids, to walk on eggshells around me. The could eat in the living room sit on whichever piece of furniture they wanted, if they spilled their drink during a meal or made a mess I just told them to clean it up, no yelling or nagging or making them feel like they were less than the mud on my boots. I didn’t flick them in the face, back of the head or ears…
That my friend is PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. No it don’t just happen to our men and women of the military who have seen action in conflicts and battles.
PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can result from narcissistic abuse especially abuse from a parent or spouse.
Some of you have mentioned in your messages that you have PTSD. Hearing your stories, some of you have more severe cases than most so please don’t feel like I’m minimizing your agony. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of us have a bit of this disorder. Abuse has scarred us in ways we may not have even realized. I realized I have a bit of it myself and so does my husband. Now I’m NOT putting this out there so we can put labels on ourselves or feel damaged or that we have a “disorder”. I’m putting this out there to make us aware of the symptoms so we can recognize what our narc abusers have done to us and knowing what’s going on is half the battle. I don’t have all the answers but lets work through this together. So we all can find mental, emotional and spiritual healing.
After going through a trauma in our case abuse from our narcissist, could be abuse as a child that continues into adulthood. Survivors often say that their first feeling is relief to be alive. But this may be followed by stress, fear, and anger. These trauma survivors may also find they are unable to stop thinking about what happened. Many survivors will have disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and Hyper-vigilance which is a high level of alert, which causes them to react strongly to sounds and sights around them. This is what I call agitated, edgy, jumpy.
Most people have some kind of stress reaction after a trauma. Having such a reaction has nothing to do with personal weakness. Stress reactions may last for several days or even a few weeks. For most people, if symptoms occur, they will slowly decrease over time.
Re-experiencing the traumatic event
Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event
Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)
Nightmares (either of the event or of other frightening things)
Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma
Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating)
Avoidance and numbing
Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma
Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
Loss of interest in activities and life in general
Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb
Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)
Increased anxiety and emotional arousal
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Irritability or outbursts of anger
Difficulty concentrating
Hypervigilance (on constant “red alert”)
Feeling jumpy and easily startled
Here are a few examples of what I go through, I’m sure some of you have experienced much worse symptoms and you know all too well about this.
My ex contacted me by phone which triggered this episode. He was an alcoholic, he didn’t physically beat me but when he drank whisky he would become violent and even worse, to the point we were arguing about where he had been all day… when it was obvious he had been drinking all day. He walks into the bedroom and in the gun case pulls out his rifle puts two shells into it and points it at me. Fortunately God gave me such a calm and I didn’t give him the reaction he was looking for: the oh please don't shoot me… begging for my very life. I kind of have a mental block as to how but he put it away eventually. Another event where he again drunk on whisky and threw christmas gifts at me yelling at me and began beating the christmas tree with a bath towel until the tree came down. He would also in the middle of the night go to my car and remove a part from my car so I couldn’t just leave his sorry ass. Just a little background as to why I got so upset when he called me.
When I married mr smakintosh he adopted my two children and the ex signed over giving away all his legal rights to the children.
Years after the adoption, I received a call on mothers day from the ex wanting to speak to my children. The call was to our home phone number which was unlisted so someone in my immediate family had to give it to him. Not only did I feel violated by this call but someone in my immediate family had betrayed me in probably the worst way. They handed us over to my ex abuser. The didn’t ask permission to give him my number they just did it, knowing the past and how he was when he drank they had no regard for our safety. I was terrified to think they may have also given him our address. I was angry, I became extremely jumpy (hypervigilant), agitated, every time I heard a truck with a loud exhaust go up the street I was at the window checking looking feverishly making sure he wasn’t out there, I got little to no sleep… I had heart palpitations, weak, I felt like my insides had turned to sludge a sick feeling, my chest hurt I thought physically I was having a stroke or heart attack it took at least a month for me to get over this. My poor husband lived through this with me. He had his own symptoms a feeling of ultimate betrayal my very own family we think it was my parents gave abusive alcoholic ex my phone to contact our kids which he gave all legal rights away to.
This was all before we realized that nearly every member of my family is a narc.
now days when one of them sends me a text or even tries to call or leaves a message any form of contact… I’m hypervigilant for about a week, agitated.. and almost no sleep and family dreams not necessarily nightmares but they are haunting my sleep. Like the dirty house dreams, I gotta get my house clean and quick my mom’s going to see it and in my dream my house is a total disaster and the more I clean the more filth I find and I just can never get it done…
My mother was a neat freak anyway and every spring break we spent spring cleaning. Most of our classmates got to go to the mall or hang out with friends… no we had to clean clean clean… Every saturday clean clean clean… and the whole time we cleaned with her we had to hear how we did a crappy job the rest of the week when we got home from school. Her nagging went on and on until it was clean to her satisfaction.
2 corinthians 1:3-4
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Psalms 61:2-3
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
Psalms 35:12
KJV
12 They rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul.
AMP
12 They reward me evil for good to my personal bereavement.
Hebrew Psalms book
12 They repay me evil for good; bereavement is come to my soul.
Strongs for spoiling as used in this verse: bereavement, loss of children
*bereavement: the condition of a person left by all; abandonment
root word: shakol
to be bereaved, make childless, miscarry
1. to cause barrenness, show barrenness or abortion
Merriam Websters dictionary: spoil
spoil: plunder taken from an enemy in war or from a victim in robbery
syn: pillage, plunder, booty, loot, swag
your mind wanders you think of pirates when you hear booty and plunder; so think of your soul as the hidden treasure that was stolen
Speaking of the young men and women in military that come home with PTSD
They realize that they didn’t sign up for this… I was told it was good, defending America and so on and so on….
They have to carry out orders no matter if it goes against their conscience when they sign that dotted line and take the oath they gave all individual rights and thoughts up. I’m not insulting them or their intelligence but they have to carry out the orders they are given whether they agree with them or not. My husband was in a branch of the military at one time and he knows quite a bit more than me about this.
People who refused to going after being drafted to Vietnam to fight in that war; they were called “conscientious objectors”. For reasons of conscience, they refused to fight in the military.
We are not diminishing any of our military veterans so please don’t feel that we are putting you down for going to fight. We are here talking about the affects after the fight I’m sure that none of you have been scathed from some type of emotional distress after coming home whether it be due to the emotional anguish of the carnage of war to lost of friends comrades and injuries.
When a parent or someone in authority tells a child to do something that’s not right like in sexual abuse the child no matter how small they know it’s not right, they feel sick inside. They are powerless to fight back and so deeply afraid to say no. Even physical abuse, beating you telling you that you are deserve this beating all the while you know you don’t. After awhile they spoil your soul: sear your conscience and you start to believe their lies you start to believe sexual abuse is right, your fault it happened or you do deserve the beatings you get.. all the while your spirit is screaming on the inside that it’s oh so wrong. You have an internal conflict, even way after all the abuse. Your spirit is trying to help you get back on balance your moral compass is off kilter. You are tortured by nightmares, sleeplessness, flashbacks and many more issues… ultimately your spirit wants you to heal from this trauma. Your reality has been aborted forced out stolen….
Friday, January 9, 2015
Transgression Speaks to the Heart of the Narcissist
Transgression [like an oracle] speaks to the wicked deep in his heart.
Psalm 36:1 (AMP)
What speaks to your heart?
What touches the very core of your being?
What causes your ears to “perk up” and spark your interest?
What fuels your imagination?
Like it or not, more often than not, our character, our essence and our true identity as human beings are revealed by these questions.
Throughout the four Gospels, there are over a dozen instances of Jesus making much ado about “ears that hear” or “eyes that see.” He would chide religious leaders for not having ears to hear and eyes to see, then bless “sinners” for having ears that actually could hear, and eyes that actually could see.
What was Jesus talking about? I think we find a clue in Matthew 6:22 (AMP):
The eye is the lamp of the body. So if your eye is sound, your entire body will be full of light. But if your eye is unsound, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the very light in you [your conscience] is darkened, how dense is that darkness!
I don’t believe Jesus was talking about the physical eye here. If you study the meaning of the word “eye”, using the scripture as it’s own commentary, you’ll find the word “eye” quite likely means “desire.” I also find it difficult to believe Jesus is calling the physical, flesh body a light expressing agent. Proverbs 20:27 tells us the spirit of man is the candle, or lamp, of the Lord - not the physical body.
Listen to this verse substituting the word “eye” with “desire” and “body” with “spirit.”
Desire is the lamp (or illuminating agent) of the spirit. So if your desires are sound your entire spirit will be full of light. But if your desires are unsound, your whole spirit will be full of darkness. If then the very light in you [your conscience] is darkened, how dense is that darkness!
Does this paraphrase make a little more sense to you? It certainly does for me!
So then, how does this apply to my original question, i.e. what speaks to your heart? Simply put, those things that speak to ones heart are those things that fulfill the desires of one’s heart, that fulfill the longings of one’s heart.
The words of Jesus, (which were actually the words of the Father), did not speak to the hearts of the malignant narcissists of His day, the Pharisees and Sadducees.
Jesus’ words did not appeal to the hearts of those evil men. Their hearts could not even perceive the message of Christ. Their hearts were not able to understand what Jesus was talking about, or comprehend His simple illustrations we call parables.
Why not?
Once again, I think it all comes down to the desire of the heart, to that which one truly seeks in his or her heart of hearts.
The Pharisee did not desire honor that comes from God only. Nope, only the person who sincerely desired the invisible honor that comes from God (a clean conscience perhaps) had ears to hear and eyes to perceive those truths the Master sought to unveil.
The Pharisee did not desire to do what was right in the eyes of God. Quite the contrary, the Pharisee believed he was right in his own eyes. Only the man hungering and thirsting to do what was right and pleasing to God possessed the ears to hear and eyes to see the Living Word.
The Pharisee was not poor in spirit, longing for the councils and precepts of God to guide his path. No, the Pharisee was quite satisfied that he, and he alone, knew the “way of salvation”, and would thank God he was not like those other, sinful men, who didn’t. Only the man that felt lost, broken, and searching for guidance from a power greater than himself could “hear” the message of the Galilean.
So if Jesus wasn’t speaking to the hearts of the Pharisees, who was? Let’s go back to our original text:
Transgression [like an oracle] speaks to the wicked deep in his heart.
Transgression (not Truth) spoke to the heart of the Pharisees. Transgression (not Truth) spoke to the heart of the Sadducees. Transgression (not Truth) spoke to heart of those wicked men.
My friend, nothing has changed from then until now.
The same transgression that spoke to the Pharisees of Jesus day speaks to the malignant narcissists of our day.
One meaning of the word “transgression” I discovered in Strong’s concordance means, “To break away from just authority.”
The word also simply means rebellion. Or lawlessness.
I believe most, if not all malignant narcissists, are those who at an early age, “broke away” from the authority of their own conscience. By doing so, they broke away from the very law of God written in their heart. Let’s look at Romans 2:14, 15 (AMP) and I’ll show you what I mean:
When Gentiles, who have not the [divine] Law do instinctively what the Law requires, they are a law to themselves, since they do not have the Law (the Torah). They show that the essential requirements of the Law are written in their hearts and are operating there, with which their consciences (sense of right and wrong) also bear witness and their [moral] decisions (their arguments of reason, their condemning or approving thoughts) will accuse or perhaps defend and excuse [them].
If a man or woman refuses to be governed by his or her own conscience, “breaks away” from their conscience, or, to put another way, does not allow his or her conscience to speak to his or her heart, what IS (speaking to his or her heart)?
Transgression! Law-LESS-ness! Rebellion!
As we all have come to painfully know by now, the things that speak to the heart of a malignant narcissist, touch the core of his being, cause his ears to perk up, spark his interest and fuel his imagination, often reek havoc, if not outright destruction, in the lives of others.
Using the outstanding definition of abuse found on the “A Cry for Justice” website, I’d like to paint a picture for you of the type of things that speak to the heart of the abusive narc; things the Bible calls “transgression.”
That plan, purpose or pursuit which validates, supports and enforces the narcissist’s inflated sense of entitlement.
That plan, purpose or pursuit that constructs, facilitates and empowers the narcissist’s place as the center of the world, including that which coerces his victim to recognize him as the same.
That plan, purpose or pursuit that allows for control and power over others, which the narcissist believes is his natural right.
If you want to touch the heart and soul of the malignant narcissist in your life, speak things that justify his sense of entitlement. If you want to excite the narcissist in your life, make him feel as if he is the center of the universe, including your own. If you want to spark the imagination of the narcissist in your life, encourage him to exercise any and all the power and control he feels is necessary to satisfy his ego and bank account. Yes, the narc has ears to hear these kind of things. This is the kind of parable the narc will “get.”
If, however, you refuse to speak the kind of things that touch the heart of your abuser, get ready for some narcissistic rage and abuse.
They killed Jesus over it.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Narcissist Demand Obedience
Does your Narc make you feel or treat you like a dog? Narcs demand obedience and treat their victims like dogs. I know growing up my parents demanded obedience. You did not talk back even to defend or explain your actions. If you even attempted to my dad would point his finger at you felt like a loaded gun and the steely stare of fire. You froze or he'd poke you in the chest each poke felt like it was bruising. Obedience...
When we went to church we would have to sit in the pew in front of our parents. This way if our dad caught us misbehaving, dosing off, passing notes... He'd flick us in the back of the head or ear. Don't get me wrong the time I grew up in I guess this was acceptable it was my "normal" so I didn't feel like I was being abused. Although, we didn't raise our kids this way and they were still pretty good in public. They knew how to sit quiet in church or any other gathering without us getting physical.
If your spouse treats you like a dog? Does he or she demand obedience? My friend you are no ones dog!!! If you are treated less than you are a human being you need to step back and look within yourself.
YOU... are made in the image of God.. Ah that's right YOU are made in the image of God
Gen 1:27 So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Image meaning likeness or resemblance
God is spirit we each have a spirit within us, we are a spirit that's where the likeness comes in..we have a soul (mind will & emotions) and we live in a body.
Ok now knowing this how can you treat any person like a dog? Would you treat the likeness of God like a dog?
We owe no man or woman obedience you are no ones dog you only owe obedience to God our father, our creator. Oh and he won't treat you like a dog either if you seek Him enough you will see that He treats you as sons and daughters
In closing don't put up with being treated less than you are. You are created in the likeness of our FATHER. if it's family go NO CONTACT if it's a spouse get out now get to a safe house before it gets worse.
* -BTW I love dogs so I wouldn't even treat a dog this way.
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Feed your enemy?
A viewer on our YouTube Channel : https://www.youtube.com/user/smakintosh/
Posed this question:
The bible says to feed your anemy? So what I'm learning is this! If you
are a born again bible believing Christian! If wee feed these narc's,
than the lord will fill us up with his love! Right? And the real you
will shine out! God's image will shine on them, but this to is real
painful but the power of God comes out, thx let me know what you think?
Very good question. I am not going to pretend to have perfect understanding of this topic, because I do not - far from it!
Here’s the verse in context
Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. IF IT BE POSSIBLE, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, AVENGE NOT YOURSELVES, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine: I will repay saith the Lord. THEREFORE if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
My first comment, which is in the form of a question, is this: Is it possible to LIVE PEACEABLY with all men? If you are living under the weight of habitual, consistent, unrelenting abuse from a certain individual or individuals, the answer is no. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO LIVE PEACEABLY WITH AN ABUSER! To live peaceably, if words mean anything, means to function with another in some degree of harmony and mutual respect, qualities non-existent in any type of relationship with an abusive, malignant narcissist.
I believe we find the subject matter for the “feed your enemy” verse in verse 17 - recompense to no man evil for evil. My understanding of “feed your enemy” is derived out of the context of the passages starting in verse 17. Paul is talking about meting out vengeance on those who do evil to us. We are not to personally take revenge on those who do us evil, but rather “give place unto [God’s] wrath.”
I wonder if you couldn’t interpret the “feed your enemy” verse as something along the line of, if it’s in your power to let your enemy stay hungry [when you have the means to feed him] and he’s starving (which anyone of us would be tempted to do as a form of revenge), don’t do it. Go ahead and feed the rascal. DON’T METE OUT REVENGE!
I found this in Matthew Poole’s Commentary on the “heap coals of fire” verse and thought it was pretty good.
1. In a bad sense, thou shalt hereby aggravate his sin, and occasion a more speedy and grievous vengeance from God, which, like fire from heaven, shall fall upon his head and consume him. Not that he persuades him to do a kindness with an evil intent, with an expectation, or desire, or design of bringing God’s wrath upon him; but only he foretells what would happen, and dissuades him from taking vengeance, and provokes him to kindness instead of it, because vengeance is God’s peculiar work, which he will certainly inflict upon such persons; which argument is used to that very purpose by St. Paul, Or,
1.In a good sense, thou shalt melt him into repentance, and inflame him with love and kindness to thee for so unexpected and undeserved a favour; he shall be as heartily grieved and tormented with the thoughts of his vile and wicked carriage to thee, as a man would be that had burning coals of fire heaped upon his head. But if these coals of fire do not melt him, but still he hardens his heart against thee, they will consume him. Thus either by the one or by the other way thou shalt be secured and delivered from him.
Point 2 in this commentary is inapplicable to an abuser, as a true malignant narcissist does not repent. And I must say “amen” to what Mr. Poole states - “Thus either by the one or by the other way THOU SHALT BE SECURED AND DELIVERED FROM HIM [THE EVIL PERSON].
I believe with all my heart that each one of us must work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. God does not produce co-dependents. You are not responsible for my salvation, and I am not responsible for yours.
Thank you so much for the excellent question!!!!
Friday, January 2, 2015
Love your Brother
I just read 1John in light of my Narc mother's passing. You should read it too it's only 5 chapters. Keep in mind love your brother is not referring to your sibling. This is referring to brother (or sister in Christ). A fellow Christian. It's not referring to a person who attends a religious group and calls it Christians. But a person who is redeemed from sin "saved" as we put it today or has found salvation in Jesus Christ, given their life to Jesus. So my mother should have looked at me as a fellow Christian, or saved person. She claimed to be a Christian. She pridefully exclaimed to all of her friends and family she was saved. If you love your fellow brother (sister) in Christ you wouldn't try to destroy them or humiliate them every chance you got. In 1 John it says he who hates his brother (again fellow Christian) is a murderer. Well narcs hate us and murder our character to others. They simply keep us around as their playthings. At the funeral my dad kept referring to my mother as a jokester. I'm sure that was for my benefit. I can take a joke I've dished out a few in my time. Their definition of joke was evidently different from mine. It's simple if your prank, trick or joke causes emotional distress on that person you know hurts their feelings then it's not funny and it's not a joke but just plain MEAN! If you claim to love Jesus why would you want to hurt another person in any way? I go by my spirit inside me when I have caused pain or hurt to another person I feel grieved inside and the first thing I want to do is make it right. I want to apologize and repent. This is the difference between a Narc and the rest of us. They get a thrill out if causing you and I pain they feel no guilt for it. So even if your Narc abuser claims to be a Christian they can't be saved if they are hurting you. I know this is simple but I needed to sort it out in my mind. After the passing of a person you try to think about the positive. During the funeral the pastor alway paints the person as a saint. With a narc you are left sorting thoughts and spitting out that "koolaide" of lies. I needed to write this for myself to remind me why I went no contact and avoid the guilt that comes "well if you were there" that oozes from your family members. Yes I went to the funeral not sure if I recommend it. You do what seems right; but stay strong don't let them lure you back into the web.
God Bless Tou.
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