Feed your enemy?

A viewer on our YouTube Channel : https://www.youtube.com/user/smakintosh/

Posed this question:

The bible says to feed your anemy? So what I'm learning is this! If you are a born again bible believing Christian! If wee feed these narc's, than the lord will fill us up with his love! Right? And the real you will shine out! God's image will shine on them, but this to is real painful but the power of God comes out, thx let me know what you think?

Very good question.  I am not going to pretend to have perfect understanding of this topic, because I do not - far from it!  

Here’s the verse in context

Recompense to no man evil for evil.  Provide things honest in the sight of all men.  IF IT BE POSSIBLE, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.  Dearly beloved, AVENGE NOT YOURSELVES, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine: I will repay saith the Lord.  THEREFORE if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.  Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. 

My first comment, which is in the form of a question, is this:  Is it possible to LIVE PEACEABLY with all men?  If you are living under the weight of habitual, consistent, unrelenting abuse from a certain individual or individuals, the answer is no.  IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO LIVE PEACEABLY WITH AN ABUSER!  To live peaceably, if words mean anything, means to function with another in some degree of harmony and mutual respect, qualities non-existent in any type of relationship with an abusive, malignant narcissist.

I believe we find the subject matter for the “feed your enemy” verse in verse 17 - recompense to no man evil for evil.  My understanding of “feed your enemy” is derived out of the context of the passages starting in verse 17.  Paul is talking about meting out vengeance on those who do evil to us.  We are not to personally take revenge on those who do us evil, but rather “give place unto [God’s] wrath.”  

I wonder if you couldn’t interpret the “feed your enemy” verse as something along the line of, if it’s in your power to let your enemy stay hungry [when you have the means to feed him] and he’s starving (which anyone of us would be tempted to do as a form of revenge), don’t do it.  Go ahead and feed the rascal.  DON’T METE OUT REVENGE!

I found this in Matthew Poole’s Commentary on the “heap coals of fire” verse and thought it was pretty good.

1. In a bad sense, thou shalt hereby aggravate his sin, and occasion a more speedy and grievous vengeance from God, which, like fire from heaven, shall fall upon his head and consume him. Not that he persuades him to do a kindness with an evil intent, with an expectation, or desire, or design of bringing God’s wrath upon him; but only he foretells what would happen, and dissuades him from taking vengeance, and provokes him to kindness instead of it, because vengeance is God’s peculiar work, which he will certainly inflict upon such persons; which argument is used to that very purpose by St. Paul,  Or, 

1.In a good sense, thou shalt melt him into repentance, and inflame him with love and kindness to thee for so unexpected and undeserved a favour; he shall be as heartily grieved and tormented with the thoughts of his vile and wicked carriage to thee, as a man would be that had burning coals of fire heaped upon his head. But if these coals of fire do not melt him, but still he hardens his heart against thee, they will consume him. Thus either by the one or by the other way thou shalt be secured and delivered from him. 

Point 2 in this commentary is inapplicable to an abuser, as a true malignant narcissist does not repent.  And I must say “amen” to what Mr. Poole states - “Thus either by the one or by the other way THOU SHALT BE SECURED AND DELIVERED FROM HIM [THE EVIL PERSON].

I believe with all my heart that each one of us must work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.  God does not produce co-dependents.  You are not responsible for my salvation, and I am not responsible for yours.  

Thank you so much for the excellent question!!!!