Commercials Exploitation of the Sick and Unfortunate

This may seem at first like it's off the subject of narcissistic abuse but stay with me and see if you agree. 

Have you noticed lately all of the, in your face graphic and morbid commercials?

For example ASPCA and the humane society. Now I love animals I wish I could rescue every single one from domestic pets to the endangered ones.  Anyone who could harm an animal is a very sick perverted person. They could easily do the same to a human.   Can anyone with empathy watch these commercial in its entirety?  Do they really think by showing us horrific images makes us want to donate to the cause?  Frankly, I'm motivated to change the channel.  Displaying wounded, malnourished and dying animals it's more than I can take. 

What about the St. Jude or the MDA commercials they are literally exploiting these children, it's disgusting. What about wounded veterans showing a man and sometimes women who have amputated body parts or showing them with PTSD.  Only a shell of what they used to be.  Some CEO may be filling his pockets but how much actually goes to the cause, it's hard to tell no one checks them out. Airtime is expensive and those type of commercials last twice and even three times as long just to pull on your heart strings. Heart strings sounds a bit like manipulation to me. Corporate narcissist seeking those with empathy for their donations.  How typical corporate sharks feeding on the little fish. I would be more inclined to donate to their cause if they left out the graphic content. Honestly what an interesting concept.  If you've fallen for these ads don't feel bad they were designed to guilt you into giving just like televangelist do.  Basically conveying that God isn't pleased with you unless you give your hard earned money to their cause and don't forget to give generously.  These commercials have left me with a nagging sense that something's not right.  They make me sick inside. 

 

Shaming by Comparison

Growing up in a home with parents that are covert narcissist the abuse takes many forms.  Shaming is a common form of narcissistic abuse whether the narcissist is overt or covert.  Shaming by comparison is just as cruel. 

Here's a couple of examples of what I'm talking about. 

Your mother uses an aunt let's call her "Mary" she used her to shame you by comparing you to her. Mary is a messy housekeeper your mother uses her constantly as an example to you. She constantly threatened you to drop you off at her home to live. She would also constantly say I'd hate to visit your house it would be like Mary's. Always comparing you to Mary. Now that you're an adult you still hear her voice in your head. When you have plans to have company come over you immediately go into panic mode and clean like a mad woman trying to make everything look spotless so that they won't think you are like Mary.  Your mother dies and you still hear those words subconsciously.  You get triggered by visitors to the point you don't want to invite anyone to your home. 

Your father has two sisters who he likes comparing you the scapegoat the golden child daughter to.  He had a bad sister who was the scapegoat which he said she lies constantly and a good sister who was the golden child. The golden child sister happened to die young in a tragic auto accident  so now she's memorialized.  You have an argument with your golden child sister while doing dishes. She picks up a knife holding it firmly and pointing it at you saying "I'll cut you!"  This isn't the first time she did this but since mom did nothing about it and brags on what a spitfire she is you don't bother telling on her. You're both still kids but you turn to her saying something you've heard on tv I'm sure. I'll forgive you but never forget. In walks your dad he over hears at least your end of the conversation. He asks what's going on you tell him. Of course he does nothing to the golden child sister and sees nothing wrong. He begins nearly an hour long lecture to you while the golden child watches. He tells how his bad sister was always jealous of the good sister more pretty nicer outgoing  etc.  He then says his bad sister has to live with the guilt of never being able to say she's sorry to the good sister for being jealous.  He then turns it in you and says you'd feel real bad if something happened to your GC sister and you weren't able to apologize. 

This is shaming 

I found this article on Toxic Shame from Darlene Lancer JD,MFT 

http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-toxic-shame/

Last paragraph sums it all up:

"If not healed, toxic shame can lead to aggression, depression, eating disorders, PTSD, and addiction. It generates low self-esteem, anxiety, irrational guilt, perfectionism, and codependency, and it limits our ability to enjoy satisfying relationships and professional success."

The Birthright

I love the story of Jacob and Esau if you listen to most pastors they get it wrong. I recommend everyone go back and re read it for themselves.  Genesis 25. Most pastors will make it sound like Jacob was devious, dishonest a thief. The two brothers were twins.  The tradition was the older brother would receive the birthright. The birthright consisted of a blessing a type of anointing of a leadership role in the family along with possibly double the inheritance at least that's what I got.  Esau willfully sold his title to this birthright.  
If you back up to where Rachel, their mother asked God why her baby seemed to be wrestling within her.  God told her why, he told her they were twins.  God knew the nature of Jacob and Esau while in the womb.  This one is a bit perplexing if you think about it. Yes I know he's God he knows everything but remember he also gave us a free will to make choices he didn't decide that one boy would be good and the other would be bad.  He didn't create a yin and yang within Rachel. And no I don't believe that philosophy that good needs bad as bad needs good to exist. If that were true that's saying and I've heard others say God needs satan they need each other they work together.  That is so warped.  Remember it's written in Revelations that God will punish satan later.  That's the only reason satan is allowed to remain in existence  He is  all that is good so he cannot break his word and say ok that's the last straw you've gone too far this time. He will wait and take care of it later. 
God knew the nature of Esau he knew he "Esau despised his birthright."  Held it in low regard, it didn't matter too much to him.  How could anyone despise a blessing from God and look at it as if it were nothing??  God was merely giving the blessing to the son who appreciated it one who would consider it an honor. No matter how little Jacob paid for it he still had Esau's promise to give it to him for soup. If you sell someone a car for $1 and sign over the title it's still a binding contract or sale. Why is this any different?  Since when is it ok to Welch on an agreement?  Why do pastors accuse Jacob of being dishonest. I didn't read that in Genesis that's their own opinion. Was Isaac aware of the sale of the birthright?  Rachel knew... 
Well we all know the rest of the story Jacob did have to trick Isaac into giving the blessing to him. Then when Esau found out and was furious wanted to kill Jacob.  Jacob fled and went no contact he walked away from the inheritance. All he left with was the clothes on his back and the blessing he just got. He stayed away even after both parents had passed.  God blessed Jacob even though he didn't get a dime of his inheritance.  I think one reason greedy pastors (pro$perity doctrine) don't get this story right is because; they're all about money.  They think Jacob's motive was the inheritance when actually it was the BLESSING!!    Esau didn't think too much of the blessing he despised it. He got what he wanted was the money. Years later when Jacob went to see Esau he was for happy he got what he wanted and the reason he was going to kill Jacob was the money not the blessing. Today's prosperity pastors aren't looking for God's blessings they are after the inheritance or money.  To them it's who has the bigger mansions who has the bigger jet.  They have little regard for the blessing like Esau. 

Staying with Your Abuser is a Choice

Staying with an abusive person is a choice.  Leaving is another choice, a better choice. It's a more healthy choice.  I agree it won't be easy. 

We all have regrets that we didn't leave sooner, that we thought we could go back and have a normal relationship with narcissistic family members and the list goes on.. 

Don't beat yourself up for it we can't go back and change the past. Stop that kind of thinking just stop it right now!

Now we got to decide how we are we going to live out the rest of your life. Are you willing to put up with that abuser in hopes that your abusers might leave you an inheritance?  You may think it's just easier to stay. Most generally the narcissistic abuser will hold their inheritance over their victims head. Dangling it like the carrot. This money gives them a stronghold over your life if you allow it. Most of the time the narcissist will give ALL their money to the golden child or to a charity so you will not get a dime. So all the time you lost being captive to your abusive narcissist was time you could have been healing and living life in freedom. 

I use Joan Crawford as an example she disinherited her children. She was evil to the bitter end they never do have that (forgive my expression)  "come to Jesus moment". 

They aren't going to have last minute regrets other than they wished they could have abused you more.